Goodbye

When we visited Great Mama Kitty at Easter, she was her usual self. Playing with the children, quick to get out the toys and chocolate biscuits, busy in the garden and as always, concerned that her hair didn't look right for a photo. It came as a massive shock to all when she was admitted to hospital after some kind of stroke. In hospital, she looked terribly frail and it was hard to hear what she was saying but she was still there. She was worried that she had milk and bread going bad in the fridge and that no one would be feeding the birds. Despite how sick she was, there was obviously no question that she would be better soon and returning home. She asked me about the children, laughed and thanked us for gifts and drinks. She did mention seeing her mother in the hospital, was worried about the rabbits in the room and at times obviously forgot I was a grown up, but most of the time was miraculously clear about who everyone was and what was going on. Unfortunately, she just wasn't strong enough and we lost her.

Despite the fact that she was 94, no one can quite believe she has gone. I think one of the main reasons for this is that for an old lady, Mama didn't have that 'when I'm gone' kind of approach. For Mama, there was always going to be a tomorrow. There was always going to be a next growing season, a next year. There would always be another family wedding to attend, another birthday, another grandchild and another generation of family visiting her and her beautiful garden. She was going to live forever.

It has long been popular for people to aspire to 'live for today', but I think Mama's approach of not worrying about today as there will always be a tomorrow seems a much more sensible and effect one. I worry constantly about the fact that I am an older parent, and that I may not be around to see my children fully live their lives, but from now on I intend to take a leaf out of Mama's book and be happy in the thought that I just will be. From now on, I'm going to live forever. Thanks and goodbye Mama Kitty. We love you. xxx